Environmental Anxiety

I meet a lot of people that are new to the scene that appear to have a lot of approach anxiety. In reality I think it’s really a case of envrionmental anxiety, which is something that is entirely different from approach anxiety. Environmental anxiety is when you’re uncomfortable with your surroundings while approaching anxiety is being nervous to approach. The very first time someone goes out to a bar to sarge can be overwhelming. I know because that happened to me and it happens to many newcomers when they take a bootcamp or meet with local lair members.

Before someone begins to think about approaching I advise them to get comfortable in the environment. Do not feel like you have an obligation to do 12 sets or meet some arbitrary standard. The best thing for those with exceptional amounts of AA is to grab a table with a friend and relax at the bar. Expose yourself to the environment and slowly but surely train yourself to become immune and indifferent to what’s around you. Bullshit with your friend while people watching at the same time. Order a drink and maybe some late night food as well. Think of it as a restaurant but with one important difference: you are surrounded by people that are looking to mingle with other people.

There are a lot of people that take bootcamps without ever having set foot in a bar. In this case not only must they battle the approach anxiety but the environmental anxiety as well. Essentially some of that $2,000 is being wasted just so they can get comfortable in a bar, let alone approach. My advice to anyone that is considering taking a bootcamp would be to first conquer your environmental anxiety. Once this is done you will find it easier to focus on socializing and interacting with others.